We all have to face this challenge at some point in our life, whether it is about our relationships, career or business changes, moving to another location or into a new home. I certainly had a few of these “Starting over” episodes. I moved from Hong Kong to Norway, then to London, then Adelaide, Brisbane and eventually Sydney. I have been through a few relationships and career changes, and I can confidently say that starting over can be a really exciting event but it can also be such a drag. It completely depends on the way you look at it i.e. your mindset and the expectation of the outcome.
Endings are New Beginnings
Endings are often hard for us, no matter we get to plan for it, or it just happens suddenly. Even if we have time to reflect and eventually commit to an end, it can bring up a lot of memories as well as the reasons why this relationship or that business started in the first place. You may know it 100% true in your heart that it is time to let go it doesn’t mean it is any easier, it requires courage and trust in yourself.
I remember when I decided to change my career path from economics and social policy to film and advertising. I didn’t consider all that much about the financial trajectory or lifestyle consequences, I was merely banking on passion and intuition. I knew I have to change, and even though I didn’t know where the path would lead me into, I felt I need to give myself a chance to and move on.
The same with many of my past relationships, I used to say, if the old one didn’t come to an end, I wouldn’t get to know the next one. But I have to admit, there were times I asked myself, will this ever end? I mean one unsuccessful relationship followed by another. “There are no failed relationships – you learn and grow from each one”. When I look back, it was definitely true, but it was just too hard to believe and accept that when I was in the deep of it.
But we don’t get to be in the deep forever, we move on, evolve and grow.
So here are my approaches when it comes to starting over:
Adopt a Growth Mindset
As compared to a fixed mindset, meaning we predict how things will turn out based on our past or beliefs. Try to allow life to surprise us, for the better, and try to avoid to be fixated on the way how things should turn out, be flexible to the notion that something better can come along. You do your homework, take the necessary actions and/or learning that are required for the outcome you desire, but after that, let go and be patient. Just like baking, you just have to let it rise.
Use Your Heart Intelligence
There will be times when we are not sure if we have made the right decision or if the direction we are taking is right for us. That is normal and healthy. What we need to do is to check-in with our heart intelligence. We often have the answers within us, but we are so busy listening to the noise and our ego-mind chatter. Find a way to get quiet, whether it is through meditation, or going for a swim or walk in the park. Ask your heart what should be your next steps. You can always get an opinion from family or friends, experts, coaches or professionals around you, but remember those are just their opinions, YOU have the answers within you so don’t forget to listen to that, as it is the most important one!
Create Your Support Network
When you decide to start over and to end the last chapter, start preparing for the transition. If it is appropriate, tell those who are closest to you, let them know what kind of help or support you may need. It can be about giving you a hand on things or leaving you alone without giving you all their comments and how-to. You know what you need more or less of. People are often respectful as long as you can communicate clearly to them. Also look out for support groups, meet-ups or communities of people who are going through a similar transition. I know for sure you can find your group on social media. There is a group for everything!
Last but not least, consider working with a coach or mentor or professional that is right for you. I have always work with a coach or mentor because I see the value in having someone who I trust and respect to give me honest feedback, encouragement and advice when I need them the most.
This week I am sharing with you an interview I did with Kathy Wong (you can listen to the podcast or watch the video), a serial entrepreneur, who has founded and ran several businesses include Moeloco, a purpose driven-social enterprise that is dedicated to helping disadvantaged children. She is now stepping down and retiring (the second time!) from her businesses. She is sharing her journey on how to transition from an ending to a beginning and how to start over a new beautiful and exciting chapter in life. https://www.moeloco.com/
For more blogs and other resources, come and visit https://SzeWingVetault.com
- How one realized it is time to end a chapter
- What happened after she decided to create a new beginning
- Saying No to some people mean saying Yes to yourself
- The magic of going with the flow
- Be relational, not transactional – when it comes to conversations with business owners
- What happened after her 1st retirement
- How to approach an end of a project/business
- Why ending means new beginning – and it takes a lot of courage
- Finding your passion is key to an inspired and conscious life
In the podcast, I mentioned my new 1-1 Transformational Coaching program that is ONLY open for my subscribers for now. If you want to find out more, please sign up for my newsletter for insider news and receive my free eBook -21 Days of Inspiration too!
You can watch my interview with Kathy Wong here:
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