103. Divine Feminine Leaders: Interview with Celeste Hartwell

In this inspiring interview, you will hear from Celeste Hartwell on how can we bring in the feminine energy (intuition) into the masculine structure (action, strategy) to find balance and to fulfil your vision.

No matter whether you are working in a corporate environment or you are an entrepreneur, you can relate to our conversation on why women have a tendency to play small or deflect compliments. You will learn about why it is vital for us to understand and acknowledge our worth, not when we want to ask for a pay rise, but as an act to practise receiving.

2020 and 2021 have been challenging for many people, for many different reasons. We also talked about how can we ride through this time and become more present and honest with our emotions. More importantly, how to find strength in the middle of a crisis, and peace, in a time of uncertainty.

Celeste Hartwell, the creator of Divine Feminine Leaders, a spiritual leader and money mindset mentor. She is also the managing director at eWomenNetwork in Greater Burlington. After 18 years working in a corporate environment, Celeste now helps her clients to step into their power, become more magnetised, visible and inspired.

You can also connect with Celeste via Facebook here.

Interview Highlights

Moving from a corporate job to creating Divine Feminine Leaders
It all came from a dream with Tony Robbins and Oprah
Re-learning and reclaiming intuitive skills
Be aware of how our mindset and belief system is running the show
Helping women to shed off layers of conditioning and open to learning what to do in order to succeed in their dreams
The balance between feminine and masculine energy
Bring the intuition (feminine) into the structure and strategy (masculine) in our life is a beautiful balance
Athena Goddess Archetype – Feminine Goddess but works very well in masculine structure.
The feminine and productive way to conduct business and fulfil our vision
The No.1 roadblock or false ceiling with women in pursuing their dreams or vision – not allow yourself to receive
The false belief that we are not worthy or if people are doing anything for us, we are losing our independence
Acceptance compliments and to stop diminishing ourselves
Why women have a tendency to wait to ask for a bigger paycheck or what they deserve
We need to understand we are the ones who determine our worth and price tag and hence learn how to ask or negotiate for more
People see our potentials while sometimes we only see our own past failures
The blessings and the curse of self-awareness
Sometimes we can be more forgiving or compassionate towards our loved ones than to ourselves
Practising forgiveness is like training a muscle it takes time and repetition
Sometimes just to sit with the pain and let the feelings come up, it may be the most we can do in a difficult situation, be self-compassionate
Be aware of what you say to yourself, I AM vs. I FEEL

Video

Transcript

Sze Wing: Hi, everyone. I’m really happy to bring in a new guest today for my podcast episode today, I’m talking to Celeste Hartwell. So we met through an eWomen networking event and I was blown away by her energy. And then we had a conversation after, and I think by listening to her journey and her view on feminine leadership it would be very interesting and inspirational for many. So first of all, I would like to introduce and welcome Celeste!

Celeste: Hi Sze, well, thank you so much for having me on. I know that when we met, it was like, we just talk the same language in a lot of different ways. So I’m so honored to be here and thank you so much for having me.

Sze Wing: Thank you. And, you know, one thing for our listeners, or the audience is that we both can talk quite fast when we’re excited about things. So let’s see how that go. I’m trying to keep it slow. So Celeste has her website, which’s called divine feminine leaders, which I think the names says a lot. And for me, it’s always interesting to ask people what inspired them to create a business. Like in your case, I know that you work with women helping them to attract clients. Customers are actually really about healing the relationship between money and life. So I think we work with a wide spectrum of different people, but a lot of times its women who obviously have a dream or having challenges to really fully express themselves. So really living the life they really want to. So I think, I know a bit of your background, I know you come from a very corporate, headstrong analytical background. And so to shift from that mindset to now working very intuitively, that was a journey in itself. So maybe I think the best way to get you to tell us, you know, a bit of your background and how it all comes together.

Celeste: Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah, so I worked in corporate for 18 years, which is a very long time and I was an analyst in utilities, which is basically electricity and gas. So it’s interesting because what I’ve learned from that is that I’m actually really good at simplifying things. And I really love to help people you know, step out of chaos and overwhelm and anxiety because I’m just a master at like learning and growing and all of that. And so the divine feminine is a really so interesting. It actually came to me. I worked in corporate this super masculine culture for a very long time. And when I decided to start my business, I actually had a dream with like Tony Robbins and Oprah. And I had like all these different things going on. And I just in the divine feminine was then the words that Tony Robbins used for me.

Celeste: And I was like, that was so fascinating because I had never even known anything about that. That was like five years ago. And so through my entrepreneurial journey and like kind of reclaiming my own intuitive skills and relearning I just really realized that at the crux of everything, I’m really into simplifying things. If you’re not going to, if you can’t tell already what it is, it really is. I realized like I’ve always been kind of a root cause girl. And so realizing that at the bottom of everything, whatever’s holding us back, whether it’s relationship with money or moving forward in our business, or, you know, being more visible, etc, it all stems from mindset. And like what our belief system is,because that really is running the show. And so I get really excited about helping women,kind of shed the layers of what we’ve been conditions and what we’ve learned are the things that we need to do in order to succeed,and kind of blowing that all open and being like, yeah, you actually can do it.

Celeste: How you feel is the best for you and to know what your soul thinks. And then being able to kind of balance. I think I always get a little nervous when people are like, oh, feminine all the way, right? Because there is this balance of like the masculine and the feminine. It’s just that we’ve been living in this masculine world especially when it comes to work for so long. And so being able to bring in the intuition, weave that back into and utilize the structure and the strategies that the masculine has for us can be a really beautiful balance.

Sze Wing : You know, there’s so many things that I can, I know why we connected because in my book I talk a lot about archetypes. And in your dream, you talk about Tony Robbins and Oprah, and because they are so famous and as in, you know, famous, not in itself, but because we understand what they stand for really clear because they have been very consistent in their image, in what they do. And so for me, they are kind of a modern archetype. So when you talk about Tony Robbins, people understand he’s very motivational, he’s a male energy, he is a doer. He is very powerful. And then Oprah of is also very powerful, which is great because she representsa feminine energy, but they’re powerful, but fairly different in a Tony Robbins sense. So they stand for different arcehtypes, but the same is, but the interesting thing is I think in the dream, it really sort of, for me, when I hear you, it’s sort of bringing the two things together, like not overlapping, but it’s like bringing in a masculine and feminine because you talk about the structure, the masculine, where outside, how we operate, which is very similar to, in my book.

Sze Wing : I talk about Athena, even though Athena goddess archetype, it’s very much a headstrong strategist. She’s still a goddess, so there’s still feminine energy, but she thrived in that musculine structure. Cause she is her father’s daughter, she’s very into that “go and get things done” energy. And I think, you know, your dream really shows me this balance that I think you were getting into when it helps women. And a lot of times that I think you need somebody else to tell you that, what it’s exactly going on when we’re in the spin, when we’re in a storm, sometimes we don’t know. And I can be in a conversation that you are really much cutting it through blowing, down to the simple things and just really getting honing into what matters and what’s really going on.

Sze Wing : And in some way that’s an, also a masculine energy to get into it. But once you get into the feminine piece comes through that intuition non-judgemental nurturing. So it’s, it’s fascinating. And I think they bring a lot of sense about being an entrepreneur. We don’t always have to wear that masculine mask. And what you were bringing into the conversation is a very feminine, very productive way to conduct business and fulfill our vision. So, you know, it’s truly inspiring. So you mentioned about women. And so that was something that I was planning to ask you. So in your experience, what is sort of the number one common roadblock with the people you work with or false ceiling? I sometimes think that of a roadblock it’s like a ceiling, but it’s a false ceiling for women to really express themselves or to speak at what they want. I mean, it sounds bad, but it’s, I think sometimesthat’s just really real that, what we’ve been facing. It felt like a false ceiling.

Celeste: I love the term false ceiling for one, like, I love that. Like never heard anybody articulate it in that way, Sze Wing. So thank you for that. Because it is a false ceiling and this is such a perfect question because I, as you were talking, I was like, we need to talk about how women don’t allow ourselves to receive. Like, to me, it’s the receiving. And I think that the masculine structure is so much about the doing and there is a time and place for action and action is so important. And I will say this and call myself out in this way. After leaving corporate, I was like, I’m just going to meditate. I’m just going to meditate all the time. And I’m no, I don’t have to do anything. Let me tell you meditating on the mat for 10 hours a day does not get you what you desire in life.

Celeste: Like it will definitely heal a lot of things. And I think it’s really an important I’m not saying everybody has to do 10 hours a day by any means, but I’ve done really extended long meditation retreats. But then like being able to weave in the action, but really learning how to receive, like it’s some way we’ve come up with this false belief that we’re not worthy and that if anyone tries to do something for us, we can be missing dependent. And we can like, you know just do all the things by ourselves. And that’s not, that’s not beneficial. It’s not beneficial for the masculine energy, whether it’s male or female in that masculine energy, whether it’s, it doesn’t serve us because then we end up getting bitter and resentful and not really being able to nourish our own selves, but it’s just so important that we all know that we’re worthy. We’re worthy because we’re born, we’re worthy because we’re in a body and we get to receive and just then deepening that muscle of receiving more good and more good and more joy and more of what we desire, because we ask for what we desire. Right. But then sometimes we have a hard time allowing that in.

Sze Wing : So let’s, I want to dig deeper into the application or the practice of receiving. So you talk about, yes, it’s apparently a mindset, but sometimes like a practical example, do you mean, say if someone said, Hey, you look great today. We should say, thank you. Instead of, well, actually my hair isn’t washed or, you know, we hear “you look beautiful”. What happened? “I Don’t know”, like receiving 101, what else? It’s like, you felt that, sometimes I’m great at seeing these examples when we catch friends and family not receiving.it’s weird to catch it myself sometimes. I mean, a compliment is easy to spot. What else that in your everyday life, you see people that are,this is clearly an example of afraid to receive or not feeling the right to receive.

Celeste: I think that, we do this in so many ways. I love the example of, oh, you look so great today and then like shutting off. It’s almost like putting up a wall,

Celeste: Like, no.

Celeste: Right, this is downplaying, like whatever is going on instead of like, I think, oh, I want to talk about this first, before I get into what you asked. But so often we think that we’re doing a favor or something. I don’t know what it is. Like we think that we’re not worthy enough to take the compliments, but really what we’re doing is we’re kind of like smacking the person that gave us the compliment or gave us the gift in whatever way that is. Whereas like, if we just allowed ourselves to like take it in and I’m not going to lie, it’s uncomfortable at first. But if we just breathe into it, ah, thank you. And can just bite our tongue. Right. when we’re first learning this, you know, you’re giving the person who gave you the compliment or the gift, a gift, you’re giving that to them back because they feel good giving you something. And when we cut ourselves off from receiving, we’re cutting themselves off from the benefit that they, that thetr could be. So it’s actually selfish to not receive.

Sze Wing : Yeah. I agree.

Celeste: It’s a paradigm shift,

Sze Wing : Sometimes I don’t know. I think it’s also about wear the big girls pants have you, I don’t know when I first started out, let’s say someone introduce you to a workshop or speaking gig or anything, even podcast. You want to say something like, nice things about you. You know, now I’ve learned. And also, you know, I can pretend so you walk on the stage and you’re looking like happy, confident, but inside at the beginning, I thought, oh my God, they say all these nice things about me. I felt like I’m a fraud. Like, you know, the imposter syndrome sometimes can kick in, the bigger the stage for me with the bigger that sort of (gasp) But, but I felt I haven’t, call it like that performer archetype, so I wouldn’t show it. So I walk on the stage and say “thank you, thank you”. But inside oh my God, it feelsso small. They shouldn’t have said it. I mean, do I live up to the expectation, you know, this is very personal, weird thought in the head. Obviously I get to overcome the normal and you know, that’s right, right. But it’s also part of not receiving, you know, it would be amazing to get that energy in and use it rather than, oh my God. I’m going to get called.

Celeste: Yeah. And I will say I’ve learned from watching others on how to receive too. Right. Like I do my own research. I love to like study and, and all of that. But, you know, I remember just that same example. I was speaking at an event in New York city and the woman who ran the event. Oh my. You want to talk about goddess vibes? Like this woman, she calls every woman in her tribe, goddess, hi, goddess. Hey. You know, like very, very loving and loved. Really owns it. And I remember, you know, I would say something kind to her and she would just sit there and put her hand on her heart and she would close her eyes and she would be like, I received that. Thank you. And I was like, whoa, that was like mind blowing, receiving a different level that I didn’t have the capacity for in that moment.

Celeste: And it taught a lot about how often I slough things off. Right. Like somebody will say something really nice and I’m getting much better at it. But like, somebody will say something really nice about me and I’d be like, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Like, I don’t believe that, you know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It really is. It’s diminishing. It’s the, they don’t really know me, they don’t really know who I am. They don’t really know like all my insecurities. They’re just being nice. They think they know me like whatever. And that’s not necessarily true. People are telling you what their perception is of you. And like that perception that they have of you is actually like way more strong than what your perception is of yourself and their perception of you. And then they’re speaking it out. I always talk about like how we create things.

Celeste: Speaking is a big way that we create things and they’re speaking it. And then they’re giving it’s all these other people who they’re introducing you to like what an amazing gift. I mean, they’re, they’re like showering you. And so it is it’s, it’s it’s, but it’s a tool. It’s a muscle to learn how to like, oh, I may not feel this, you know? And sometimes it might be, you know, how do I acknowledge? Okay. I don’t see it the way they see it right now, but I’m open to seeing it the way they see me. I’m open to seeing myself the way they’re seeing me. And I think that when we start to just open up our curiosity or the idea that they see me that way. They must believe it. They’re not just saying it. Right. Like, I think part of this is trust and faith and, and learning that you know, most people are not just going to say things to be nice. Most people are going to be honest.

Sze Wing : Yeah. That’s great. I agree. And I was thinking, do you think that some reason to it is due to we afraid that we cannot fulfill the expectation? I wonder why are we like that? Like, you know, I think that actually waving into the next question I meant to ask you about, for example money, why sometimes it’s harder for women to ask for a bigger pay cheque or ask for what they deserve. We may tap this tendency to what’s abundance, especially money in a work situation, eeling less than, or afraid to ask for more. And isn’t in some way you think it’s due to, we have an expectation of what if we didn’t perform 110%, in order to receive that. I know I read a study where women wouldn’t dare to for a pay rise or promotion, unless they think they have done over a hundred percent confident about the next job, right? Well, men, as long as they are 80% confident in thatm they are gunning for it. Like we actually feel we need the extra well

Celeste: I think I saw something similar to that Sze Wing that was actually like women feel like they have to have a hundred percent of the qualifications to apply for a new job, but men, if they have like 20 or 30% of the qualifications they’ll apply for the job. Right. And so this is I think a little bit different conversation. What I see energetically and what my experiences, I worked in corporate for 18 years. So I get it. I think that women are still so relatively new to the work environment generationally, right. Men have been working and they created the corporate structure because it’s a masculine structure and it works for men. It really works for men. So there is no, like I’m not downplaying that it, it works for them. I don’t think it always works for women. I would almost say that it hardly ever works for women to be fair.

Celeste: But but part of this is I don’t think that women are asking for what their value is. A, I don’t think that they understand that they are the ones who determine their worth. You determine your price tag, especially as an entrepreneur. This is a pitfall for a lot of new female entrepreneurs. Like you go from having a job where somebody else gave you a dollar amount and just said, this is what you’re worth. And we’re going to give you this raise. And they don’t know that they determine their worth. And so they don’t know how to negotiate really to ask for more. You don’t know, unless you ask. Right. So we count ourselves out before we count ourselves in, we take ourselves out of the negotiation before we even ask the question. And so going back to there was something around why don’t we receive ? Where was it? There was a thread there. I can almost see it.

Sze Wing : One of the things I’ve really learned a lot from my children because in terms of accepting no problem, you know, like give them something with love, great. You tell them youre cute. They’re like, yeah, I know, kind of thing. And they ask for more. They are the specialists. They, you know, I give my daughter a candy. She’s like, no, I want two, like immediately, when did we unlearn this? Like this asking for more, it’s becoming the hardest thing. A lot of women find it really challenging. But we were not born with it clearly.

Celeste: No, we’re not born with it. And that’s the thing it’s always there. It’s always available for us to tap back into. Hmm. I feel like I’m going to like drop some knowledge right now. Like it’s available to tap back into that is to me, that source that spirit, that’s God, this divine energy, whatever you call your higher power, like that is always available. And it’s not from egoic space. Right. It’s just from a like, Ooh, I wonder if I can get this, that’s what your daughter’s doing. Right. Like, I wonder if I can get to this instead of one. Why not? Why not try? And I think oh, going back to that’s where it was, the thread going back to, like why do we belittle ourselves in our own head and think that those people who are complimenting us, et cetera, don’t know who we are. It’s because they see our potential and we see everything that we’ve failed at in the past

Sze Wing : Twitter alert. Oh, wait, repeat it, please. That’s really important.

Celeste: Yeah. So people who don’t know us think we’re fabulous right off the bat because they see our potential. They see how we shine, what our light looks like. But we, in our memory, in our mind, we have these memories that actually aren’t even the truth today, any longer, right? Like they’re memories, they’re old, they’re ancient, but we see all the failures that we’ve done. And that is what holds us back. So if we can like tap into, and this is why I think that your work, my work, this is why I think coaching is so vitally important, especially for female entrepreneurs. Is that like, when you can have a coach who can see your potential and just hold that vision for you, you can step into that vision so much easier

Sze Wing : Sometimes. I wonder, do you think it’s a part of our nature to get so hung up on our mistakes? I mean there’s no answer here. I’m just suddenly thinking about what you just said. Like, I completely agree. I feel people tend to be more kind, I think people in general, their nature is kind and honest. So they see what they see and they see our potential while we may see these potential, but then we’ll put a lot of failures and inadequacy in front of it. So obviously it’s already blurred, but why we’re so hanging up when someone’s like, no, it’s just the fundamental work stuff. Think about relationship. We can get reallyhang up about the breakups before or how we did something wrong. And you know, and even though I’ve been coaching for one worker, a lot of people, some of them, they catch myself, oh my God, I’m still hanging up on a mistake. I did long time ago. Failure. Not besides that. A mistake or a small regret. Sometimes I realize, oh my God, I’m still a little bit hang up. But I have a little of something there. So we, I don’t know when it was buidling because we are more introspective and reflective in nature. I dunno why.

Celeste: I think it’s definitely both the blessing and the curse of self-awareness. Right. and I also think that there’s so much there’s so much space for forgiveness. Like think about your children or your clients. You have so much compassion for them, right? Like you care for them, you don’t judge them. But we have been taught to judge ourselves and we’ve been taught in this perfectionistic, like society, right. You go to school and you have to get a good grade and you have to do all these things to like, measure up. Right. So it’s kind of ingrained from childhood. And then if you decide to be an entrepreneur and go into business for yourself, all of a sudden you have to continually fail and fail and fail and fail and just continually decide to stay in the game, to stay in your business.

Celeste: And it’s almost like I I’m always like prescribing forgiveness work constantly like forgiving ourselves, forgiving anybody who comes up forgiving our parents, forgiving siblings, forgiving past lovers, forgiving ourselves in our current relationship with our current clients, with like whatever those little things are. And then I’m always looking for the lessons like this really awful thing happens. Okay. What can I learn from it? And like, and can I forgive myself? And sometimes it takes a while. I know that if it was my partner, I love him unconditionally. Right. Like he could do anything and it would never be that bad. That’s just him. Like, we have a good relationship, but you know, I’m so much more apt to like, give that kindness and compassion to others. Before myself. I’m better now, but I’m just saying like, from a past perspective, like I think that that’s really cool.

Sze Wing : Totally. And you know, I think from this conversation already, like there was so much, I mean, great conversations for me already. I felt I am learning a lot. I think one of the things you just talked about, it’s almost describing forgiveness is a muscle. We actually have to learn to forgive whether it’s others and ourselves. And sometimes it’s muscule is strong today. Like, you know, in yoga and exercise classes, I’m trying to get better at the pose. And today, maybe tomorrow, you’re not in the same energy and may not hold up so well. And I felt forgiveness. It’s kind of like a muscle and other way we trying to build up that muscles And, and another thing was, you know, we’re just talking about, sometimes it was to hang up about,ucertain things in the past and failure and the mistakes. When I listen to you.

Sze Wing : I sense that, you know, maybe cursing and blessing you you’d mentioned. And I think maybe we should look at it as a it’s a sensitivity like you, what you said without that sensitivity, we may not be as compassionate. We can not relate as well. Maybe we don’t see it. The way we do and help others. So that’s like a sensitivity as well, to be able to recognize things that we could have done better or things that may have hurt others without using, we intended to things like that. So it was fantastic. You know, this thing came to a head when we have this conversation. That’s what I love doing podcasts.

Celeste: Well, I love doing this, yeah. I love this conversation.

Celeste: These are conversations I can have all day, every day.

Sze Wing : Oh my God.

Sze Wing : Like if you put a lot of women like us in a room, we will like, chat 24 hours. Okay. So I want to ask you something about last year for many people 2020 COVID pandemic can be very challenging. I know that there’s a lot of events in your life and I also have lots of events in my life. So just let, just round it up saying it has been a challenging year, for many, 2020 everybody look at it differently. Isn’t that two different things. So, but let’s you said before, a lot of times that we’ll lookback at the challenge to see this as a lesson. So what, what’s your take about looking back 2020 that, you know, what is the thing that you learn from it? Most of all, and then what helps you to go forward? Maybe like humanity 2.1, like why 2.1? For one, I mean, that’s kind of weird model, but you know, doing better or, the thing that we wanted to improve. I mean, what do you learn most out of it? 2020?

Celeste: Yeah. So 2020 was a challenging year for everyone. I personally had a breast cancer scare. I had, my grandmother died, my cat of 18 years die. My cousin was shot to death on new year’s Eve. Like crazy things happens. Right. My sister’s business burned down. It was, it was a year of trauma and I’m not saying that everybody had that traumatic of a year. I pray to God, like nobody else had that traumatic of a year. It was a lot. And I would say that, I think that my biggest lesson was to sit with the pain as it was coming up. Like, does I sit with it and let it wash to just yes. To just feel the feelings. I mean, there were days where I just cried. And, and then of course in the states, you know, we had the racial injustice stuff going on and inequality, and I don’t know about you Sze Wing, but I’m empathic.

Celeste: I feel the collective, I feel the energy. I feel people’s sadness. They don’t have to be next to me. They don’t even have to be in the same city or state. I just feel everything. And so there were days where I actually, my coach at the time was like, if you’re not crying every day, I don’t know how you’re doing life right now. Like we were just sobbing. I mean, and so I think that there was a deeper sense, a deeper learning for me personally, to really be able to feel my feelings and to sit with them and be okay with them again, that self compassion, that forgiveness for being human. I w I grew up thinking that I needed to be a machine and have no feelings. And what that did was make me physically ill, emotionally unfulfilled spiritually disconnected. Like I just was really in a rut.

Celeste: When I, when I was not allowing myself to be a human being and then the other, and I think that this goes hand in hand, the second lesson was surrender. I got audited by the IRS. Like, I literally just remember just surrendering and being like, all right, spirit. I don’t know what’s here for me, but I can’t do this by myself. And so you get to like lead the way I trust. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve wanted to control things my entire life. I get it now. And it was just this continual surrender over surrender, over surrender. You know, my cat was 18 and a half years old. I had been with him since he was a kitten. So that was like, my deepest love, my deepest relationship. And I was grateful actually that, like I had the couple of days to like, you know make the decision, the humane decision to like, let him, you know, go to sleep, you know, at the vet’s office and euthanize him humanely and be with him in that moment, even though it was COVID.

Celeste: And I don’t think that they were supposed to have two people in there, my partner and I, but they let us have both of us in there thankfully at that time. And you know, to be able to honor his life and, and to do the same thing with my grandmother, I was all that I I’ve gotten so much better at I think 2020 was a culmination for me to see my own growth, right. Like I got to see how much more present I was. My stepdad passed away too. So I went back to my hometown when my stepfather passed away to help my sisters through it. And because I’m always been kind of a mom to them. And and at that moment I felt the nudge to go spend time with my grandmother and that wouldn’t have been on my priority list, but I was like, you know what, I should do that.

Celeste: I feel called to do that in this moment, very present to that. And so I did, I spent a couple of different afternoons with her playing card games, with her, helping her with her medication, all of that. And so then when she passed away, six weeks later and I was back at home and I physically couldn’t go to the funeral because of the restrictions. I was able to be at peace with that, I spent time with her. I had that, you know, closure in a way. Right. And so I think it’s, to me, life is about emotional intelligence and when we’re able to feel the feelings and yeah, I cried, I cried a lot in 2020 probably more than any other year, to be honest, because it was just, there was so much going on and so much heaviness and so much tragedy, but being able to be present with it, be present with myself and give myself the time.

Celeste: And there were some days where I had an had appointments and I had to be like, you know what, today’s not the day. I can’t, you know, like you and I were supposed to record this months ago. And I was like, Sze Wing, I love you. And I’m not in a place right now. And I just knew, I was like, I’ll know when the time is, right. I trust that internal guidance. I trust that you know, if this opportunity is meant to happen again, it will happen again. And to me, that’s a lot of faith in, in in something bigger than myself, right? Like greater good universe source God, whatever you want to call higher power. That was, that was, that was a big loss. And that I took out a 2020

Sze Wing : That was actually wearing a big girls pants in that sense of taking care of yourself, the self-care piece, you did. And also when she says sitting through the difficult times, I know that all that shall pass and, you know, being present and, and you know, what a huge growth, because I think you and I have a similar scenario in the sense that we’re trying to be like machine in some ways, when I was younger, I also one of the very distinctive things I really can relate to what you said before was I didn’t want to fell in love, like head over heels in love thing. It’s not my thing. It’s not my jam. I don’t like it because of my background, the way I was brought up, my parents were working so late and I was very alone. And therefore I am very independent by nature.

Sze Wing : I don’t know, like, because of circumstance, but I think one of the things that you didn’t know, but you learn instinctively it’s, I don’t want to depend on anyone emotional or physical. So since I was very little, I was very independent, but then I did not realize that also in terms of relationship, I didn’t love wanting to love too much. I don’t want to be in, you know, the crazy head-over-heels thing and romantic movie. I can not relate. I just don’t have it. Because I think it’s a fear in some ways to, you know, feeling abandoned or I’m not okay, unless you are here after me. I don’t know what that was, but, you know, I, I sense that when you talk about trying to be a host, like a machine, not trying to be fully present and not so emotional, that was me younger, the as well, and to, to step out of it, but obviously inevitably, when you either have a family crisis, a health crisis, in my case, having children, you can’t, you just, you just gotta be human and it, it kinda, those opportunities help us to be more human and, and embrace that.

Sze Wing : And, you know, you talked about, it’s definitely a very challenging year, but the way you describe it, I can see it’s like coming in waves, isn’t it. And then, but you managed to, it’s almost like a sail boat that you kind of ride on top of it and you go through it rather than, you know another really horrible way to handle it is to deny or shut it down or not sitting through it. And then what happened is that it will still be there until we’re ready to resolve it, which may or may not be helpful. Well,

Celeste: And it always comes out whether we think it’s coming out or not. Right. Like when we think that we’re shoving it down, what’s really happening is it’s coming out sideways through anger, through, you know, resentment through bitterness. I lived a good portion of my life, probably drinking way more than anybody needed to and, and self pacifying in a lot of different ways, because I didn’t want to feel my feelings because I think that, like, in our culture, we’re not taught emotional intelligence. We’re not taught how to sit with our feelings and how to honor them. And when we do, when we actually can sit with them and I always tell my clients I’m like, use it as a mantra. Not I am sad because when you say I am something like you’re declaring, you are that thing. So you are not sad.

Celeste: You are not pathetic. You are not whatever. Like don’t tell the story about what’s going on, but feel the feeling. And so I use it as the mantra. I feel sad. I feel sad. And in order to be present with it, I just say that to myself over and over, and then I will cry. And honestly it goes pretty fast when you can like, just sit with it. And I just heard somebody say like, it’s like it’s like digesting, it’s like metabolizing. And when you learn how to feel your feelings in a more profound way, a you’re way more productive because everybody’s having the feelings anyway. It’s just whether you’re actually letting yourself feeling them or not, or whether they’re holding you up in other ways or you’re digesting them and metabolizing them and getting better and better digestion as a result.

Sze Wing : So winding up wrapping up our interview, very inspiring. I love our conversation. So last question. So what inspire you to stay, especially looking into 2021, what’s sort of the word, mentor or the thing that you have in mind for this year.

Celeste: I am really passionate about helping women step into their sovereignty. And this is such a big piece for me. And seeing, you mentioned it a little bit, like not wanting to love so deeply because you don’t want to lose yourself in those relationships. It feels like is what you were talking about. I’ve lost myself in relationships before, and I think that it’s, it’s, it’s so easy for us as women to give of ourselves so much that we forget who we are. And so my big motivation for the time to come is to continue to inspire women to live in their truth, to really be able to shine their gifts, super brightly, to heal the relationship with money so that they can ask for what they desire for what they feel that they need to live and what they feel like they’re worth. And really to just be a brighter, more visible person. I mean, I think that’s my, that’s my biggest prayer for myself, my own life, and really helping to inspire more people. So thank you for having me here for sure. Cause this is definitely a big piece of that. I appreciate it.

Sze Wing : Beautiful. So thank you so much for today for your time and you people want to get to know you better connect with you. I will put your website, And is there any other best way to find you online?

Celeste: I would say I’m Celeste Hartwell everywhere, Instagram, Facebook CelesteHartwell.com actually pushed this over to divine feminine leaders.com if divine feminine leaders is too much of a mouthful. And so, yeah, Celeste Hartwell is where I am everywhere. So thank you. Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate you.

Sze Wing : You too. Thank you so much.